Today in our "ask a..." series we ask a metalhead some pertinent questions. For those of you who are not familiar with metalheads, it's a lifestyle composed of black clothing, loud music, and a pathological avoidance of eye contact -or in some cases a pathological abundance of eye contact (see Glenn Danzig). We hit the streets and found a genuine metalhead going about his day. His name is Darkwing and we were fortunate to find him outside of Pip's Deluxe Wash and Dry (a local laundry mat and Keno parlor) waiting for his clothes to dry.
|He was there with his sister Moira and half a bottle of fabric softener.|
Me- "Darkwing is it fair to say that you're washing a lot of black clothing today?"
DW- "Umm I guess so sure, I only wear black. It's the color of the night."
Me- "Of course it is, now would you categorize your music as loud?"
DW- "Sure it's loud when necessary, I mean my music encompasses the entire spectrum of human suffering and alienation."
Me- "Yes I imagine that would be fairly loud."
DW- "You bet your ass."
Me- "I've also noticed that you seem to be avoiding any and all eye contact with me, is that true?"
DW- "I don't need to look in your eyes to see how empty and loathsome your soul has become."
Moira- "Oh my god Shane you're so weird."
DW- "I told you never to call me that, Moira. God, I washed your sheets and I didn't have to you know."
Moira- "You didn't wash my sheets, I did all the laundry, you just sat on the bench reapplying your lipstick."
DW- "Yeah but you used all of my quarters Moira, I cashed in that ten I found in the couch cushions when I was looking for my ear cuff."
Moira- "Oh right did you ever find that ear cuff?"
DW- "No, I think I left it at Troy's house."
M- "You mean Raven's Claw?" (laughter)
DW- "No that's Lance, Troy is Grey Ghost."
DW- "Not all ghosts are grey Moira, there's a color scale in the spirit world. Spectres, ghouls, demons and ghosts can come in vibrant shades of crimson and the deepest violet according to their elemental nature. Even our own body chemistry can alter the way in which we see the wretched emperors and morbid souls that forever roam the spirit world."
Moira- "Morbid souls, oh my god Shane you are so embarrassing. You think you're so dark and mysterious but you're just a loser."
DW- "I'm not a loser Moira just because I'm not afraid to push myself to the outermost reaches of pain and suffering. I'm sorry that you can't experience life on the same level of brutal truth as me."
Moira- "How's this for brutal truth Shane, you know Mrs. Tanner's dog Shelia? That little white thing that was always pooping in our yard. Well one day I snuck into her backyard and I put like an entire bottle of Drano in that dog's water dish. It totally croaked."
DW- "Holy shit Moira that's dark."
Moira- "You bet your ass."
Me- "Guys, guys can we get back on track here. Now Darkwing as a metalhead how do you feel about today's political climate?"
DW- "I'm not a metalhead dickwad, I'm a goth."